I am lucky, I fell in love before Instagram, before mutual affection was as easy as clicking the like button. I was a teenager I sat in a scarcely furnished basement apartments and got to know my friends and boyfriends the old fashion way , by talking to them. Thirty six probing questions does not scare me, it never did. To me its the easiest way to separate the men from the boys. Anyone willing to let you see them that close is brave, and I have always liked bravery. I have never held something back from someone who earnestly asked, and one of my favorite sayings of all times is "Sunshine is the best disinfectant".
So all I could think when I read this article was Thirty six Questions, bring them on! But wait I am already in love, there are 26 years and way more than 36 questions between us, so what will become of doing this experiment with my husband? would it reverse the spell? Were we in danger? would it bring us closer? is it like playing Black Sabbath backwards? would we hear Satan? So in the spirit of the Ramble project I decided to shake up a Monday night and set out on our very own thirty six question experiment, but with a twist.
We would turn it into a bit of a drinking game. For each question answered we would take a sip of our drink of choice (in this case Jameson), but since this is a family blog and combining alcohol and probing questions about intimacy sounds a bit iffy we need something to keep things respectable. What is the most respectable thing I could think of? Scrabble! What is more wholesome than scrabble? nothing! So we set off to begin our modified experiment/drinking game/game night to see what would become of us.....
So here is how it went. I remain the undefeated scrabble champion. I realized Joe is not very good at multitasking. Answering questions and playing scrabble posed a bit of a challenge for him. (note to self : remember that next time you are playing chess with him, maybe that's the trick to ending his winning streak).
The interesting thing about the thirty six questions is that the beginning ones (the easier and less probing set) took longer for us to answer. The second half went much quicker. Now I have my theories about this. Perhaps once you have warmed up to this almost interviewing style of questioning it gets easier, maybe the Jameson consumption helped move things along, or could it be the scrabble focus sharpened our minds making us more pliable? All this is plausible. However I cant help but think that less personal questions take longer to consider because they may have many answers, depending on the day, year or circumstances. The really probing questions have answers that are more solidly planted in our minds and hearts.
Another noteworthy aspect of our questioning was the feeling of surprise I had at some of Joes answers. When you live side by side with someone for so long you assume you know everything about them. I am happy to report though that this man can still surprise me, and I am grateful for that.
So what did we gain from this exercise? In the end did this disclosure have the expected effect? I am relieved to say It did not reverse the spell! I remain today as in love as ever. But what it did do was make us laugh, it made us laugh a lot. It slowed down time in our quiet sleepy house and created a space where only we existed. It made what we thought and felt the most pressing matter of the moment, and most importantly it caught us by surprise. Let me explain why. Neither of us read the questions before asking them. We did not know what was coming next. Our answers formed naturally, and in the moment. We followed the progress of the question and answers organically. Slowly the answers built a story about us that we didn't plan to narrate. I think for many people that's exactly how you fall in love. In A Fault In Our Stars John Green writes "I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly then all at once" I think that's the funny thing about love and this experiment. It is possible that after 36 questions or 6 dates or 4 years or a glance across the tracks of a subway that you can fall in love. I think the 36 questions are arbitrary. It is the decision to open yourself up to someone that allows the universe to sneak up on you and let love in. So I leave you with this warning if you decide to go ahead and ask these 36 questions to someone be careful you never know what could happen!
Below is a link to the 36 Questions
Ramble on my friends!
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html
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